Anon: On How Social Networking Ruined My Life…

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…or may have improved it.

(It’s Too Soon To Tell)

I came to play in the social networking arena somewhat reluctantly.  Why do I need this, I have email addresses and phone numbers?  This is what I said until a “Success Coach” I was paying, told me of all the ways I could promote myself and my business on MySpace.

I had already joined, but did not spend much time on there, UNTIL…I noticed all the profile pics of women in bikinis.  That changed everything.  And, from then on, I was happy to promote my self , my music and my business to all my new “friends.”  I almost exclusively stuck to the promotion, but definitely scanned the friends of my friends to quickly add the most-attractive friends I could find.  I would also come across old real-life friends—so, MySpace, to me, was like a big treasure hunt.

Then Facebook came along.  Again, I was reluctant.  I’m already on MySpace, why  do I need to join this?  The reason, is that Facebook was like one giant high-school yearbook, except that it covered my entire life and I could search for hot friends of friends. And even better was the fact that Facebook was interactive.  I could actually engage and communicate with these people.  I could see what they were up to, let them know what I was up to and drop witty comments here and there that brought me much appreciation and ego-stroking.

I loved Facebook.  It was great!  I would look up old girl-friends, old crushes, they would find me, all my cousins were on there, etc etc.  And then the day came when I was able to have Facebook right on my phone!!  This was awesome!

And then, there was Twitter…..

I really had to be dragged to the Twitter. Everyone not on Twitter thinks it is all about sharing with everyone that you are going to the bathroom.  But it isn’t.  Twitter started as a big dinner party for me, and eventually turned into a dark, Dionysian underworld similar to the opium rooms in Logan’s Run.  Twitter is where I could be who I wanted to be most, say what I wanted to say, and play out all kinds of fantasies. I got respect, I was told I was funny, women hit on me, I got my ego stroked, I could drop innuendos without being on the receiving end of an eye-roll or slap in the face.  In fact, the more I pushed it, the better the response. The girls loved me and the guys were cool!  What more could I want?

The problem, the catch (and there is always a catch), is that I was doing all this as a married man with three kids.  I escaped to Twitter.  At first, I escaped to Facebook, but it that was tame.  It wasn’t as instant and engaging as Twitter.  It wasn’t as dark and lascivious.  I started tweeting as an actor with an actor-related business, ended up being more involved in the political circles, and then found women who were looking for a good time, or to be listened to and appreciated.  And they were happy to hear from me.  And this made me happy.

I was lonely, see.  I was insecure. I felt stuck in my marriage.  I had tried to do a lot within my own limitations, and kept coming up empty.  And one day, I found someone on twitter who appreciated me.  And then I found another and another.  And on top of  that, I had groups of “friends” I would tweet with nightly, and daily, as if we were the cast of “Friends” hanging out on the couch of that coffee joint.

And this worked for me.  Until it didn’t.  My wife found out about one woman.  Then I told her about the other.  And now, I sit on the cusp of a separation…likely headed for divorce.  Now, I can’t and won’t say that the separation is all because of social networking, I just know it to be the straw that broke the camel’s back.  At any rate, I sit here feeling as if my life is ruined, but also semi-excited for the possibility to actually enjoy my life.  Afterall, the make-believe world of Twitter loves me!!

- Anon

3 Responses

  1. Gary says:

    I really hope you find peace and happiness and a balance between the benefits of social media and the importance for a non-electronic life.

  2. Blue says:

    I could have written this. It is my story. Facebook lead to twitter which led to a downward spiral that has needed up with me, alone in my house and getting a divorce. Losing the single most important thing in my life: my daughter. All because I thought I had “friends” on twitter.

    Out of over 3,000 followers, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number that actually expressed concern when I dropped off of twitter. Only a few who generally cared what happened to me.

    It’s important not to confuse twitter followers with ‘friends’ .

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